


Insufferable

by Heather



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Adams
Genre: F/M, Gen, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-13
Updated: 2006-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-08 01:33:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/71330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heather/pseuds/Heather





	Insufferable

  
Intolerable, it was just intolerable. Marvin was uncertain what was more bothersome—the Genuine People Personalities all over the ship, or the genuine people that had stolen it. In the people's defense, they didn't try to act so loathsomely happy about every single thing that transpired in the immediate vicinity ("We have just passed dangerously near a black hole, but don't worry, folks—it's still a pleasure serving you, and I would be delighted to take evasive action!"), but then Marvin had no interest in defending a pair of humans (or a human and semi-humanoid, whatever you like) who did such incredibly insufferable things as act so inexplicably fond of one another beneath a cool veneer of irritation.

It is a known fact in the universe that an overwhelming percentage of the most successful relationships were based on things other than happiness. On Earth, many stolid examples that were held up as icons of great marriage were based on either mutual kingdom-ruling needs or on a careful cover of bliss masking such things as alcoholism and adultery.

Many persons in the Galaxy—including those six who knew where real power lay—might have concluded that Trillian was part of Zaphod's presidential flamboyancy, but Marvin was forced to disagree, as if such were the case, he would not now be stuck with them both in this ship-thieving sedition that had gotten him trapped with the two to observe them in the first place.

No, no. They were definitely fond of each other. No disputing that fact. It was evident in a number of behaviors, big and small, that grated his circuits. Perhaps the worst of these was the remarkable noise level of Zaphod's quarters on the Heart of Gold during the restorative sleep periods the two jointly took there (it could not quite be called night, as in space, it is virtually always night, unless you happen to be passing a supernova that flared up a star and gave any nearby passing ships or planets a brief illusion of day before they disappeared into a puff of hydrogen, ozone and carbon monoxide).

Zaphod and Trillian were in what was called a relationship (an insufferably vague term that can mean anything from something between two beings in love, to the enjoyment and symbiosis between someone and his favorite house plant), they took no pains to conceal it from either the entirely-too-self-satisfied doors or the clinically depressed robot who was really the only thing intelligent enough nearby to notice and in conclusion: Someone on this ship was having fun, and it definitely wasn't Marvin.

It may have been less annoying, he supposed, if he was not the only being annoyed by them and soldiering on anyway.

He would come to regret this thought later when Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent joined the slap-dash, haphazard crew of the Heart of Gold, bringing the number of insufferable beings up to four—though still only half of them were in love.


End file.
